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Saturday, November 29, 2008

Parental Alienation is Child Abuse

Parental Alienation is the most insidious form of child abuse

Parental Alienation is the name for a group of behaviors that damage children's mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. These behaviors most often accompany high conflict marriages, separation or divorce.

These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing that a loving parent is the cause of all problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided.

Parental alienation deprives children of their right to be loved by and to show love for both of their parents. These destructive actions by the alienator (usually parent or relative) are considered a form of child abuse - as the alienating tactics used on the children are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, and rob children of their sense of security and safety. Parental alienation is manipulative and destructive, and ends up hurting and damaging the child.

Effects of parental alienation:

- - The alienated child is likely to exhibit symptoms which include anxiety, phobias, and social and educational difficulties. As adults, alienated children experience excessive guilt, sadness and depression as they begin to understand what they have lost, and how they have been used as weapons against the other parent.
- - The adult alienated child will recognize that his/her perceptions were molded by manipulative or self-interested person(s). Such manipulation causes these adult children to lose confidence in ability to trust others, and contributes to feelings of self loathing.
- - For the alienated parent, and the wider family, the effects of PA are worse than losing a child through death, and have been likened to a bereavement without an end. Every day is a new loss. Experiences, once lovingly shared, can never be retrieved. The parent is given a life sentence of overwhelming sadness. The family is ruptured.

How to identify an alienated child :

He or she has experienced the deterioration or loss of a parental relationship during, or after, a parental crisis or split. The child now professes a strong preference for one parent, while expressing blame, disrespect, dislike, contempt and hatred towards the other -- and often towards members of the other's extended family.

The reasons for these strong feelings are often illogical and frivolous, and often include false accusations. The child is adamant that the feelings he/she expresses are his or her own, while using exact phrases or vocabulary that were learned from his/her alienating parent or relatives.

Considering the profound symptoms of reactive attachment disorder (RAD) in some situations, parental alienation is a cruel sentence to impose on an already troubled, but innocent child. Children with attachment issues are prone to accept and act on alienating suggestions, and to exaggerate their anger and blaming. Typical RAD behavior predicts that victims will continue to embellish and worsen false accusations against the parent they have been encouraged to reject -- these false accusations cascade incredibly into "fish stories" that take on lives of their own.

Dean Ramsden says it this way, "Speaking for all of the victims out there (myself included) I ask for your deep compassion for the loss of our children, and to please help where you can in awakening society to the reality of this crime against human connection. Life, our parents, and all our relationships, are too important to be ground underfoot by the denial of the effects of parental alienation."

Encouraging parental alienation is the ultimate hate crime.

This post is dedicated to those who attempted to destroy our nuclear family: Patty Grossman, trained and abetted by Carol Klein. Both operated with Helene Kendler's irresponsibly unprofessional approbation.

5 comments:

amyjlbaker said...

I really appreciate your post becasue I think it will educate people about this horrible problem that causes so much pain and suffering to both targeted parents and alienated children everywhere. I just want you and your readers to know that there are resources out there for targeted parents. There are many websites that have information and resources available including books, handbooks, internet chat groups, face to face support groups, legal and mental health advice.

Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D.
www.amyjlbaker.com

Carol Porter said...

Amy, thank you. Based on your comments, I checked out your resources, and also found this "adult child" blogging about parental alienation. She sums up this blog post as follows:

Parental Alienation is Emotional Terrorism. It is the deliberate harm of innocents in the pursuit of selfish desires (usually revenge).

There is no need for it.

Carol Porter said...

Here's another link to explore:
http://parentalalienationhurts.com/

Carol Porter said...

Another link, from a young woman who was alienated from her mom: http://clockworksoul.wordpress.com/2013/09/15/how-parental-alienation-started/

Carol Porter said...

Here's another teen's blog, and point of view: http://torn2peaces.com/signs-a-parent-may-be-using-u-for-hate/

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